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Archive for September 16th, 2007

Disclaimer

It has to be clear, at least as clear as mud, that what I write on this blog in no way represents anybody’s reality but my own. And even that is a bit dodgy. When I look at the world around me I can assure you I am not wearing rose-tinted glasses in any way at all. They’re more like some sort of psychedelic green. And who needs drugs then, eh?

It has come to my attention — ok, I’ve been told pretty straight — that my writings about my nephews have not been well received by those who know them (a lot better than me) and that me portraying them as violent thugs is in every way unacceptable.

Now, listen. It’s not my fault that they spend the entire ten minutes of our annual meet-up in a heap on the floor squeezing each other like balloons. For all I know, they could be angels for the remaining 364 days, 23 hours and 50 minutes. And I wouldn’t know about it. All I’ve seen is an angry knot of arms and legs. But… they insist on sharing a room. I don’t get that. But that must be a good sign, huh?

The years my sister and I shared a room were — not great. I have no doubt I was a truly annoying wee sister to share a room with – at least I had that feeling back then. I think if she could have kept me in a small cage in the corner of the room and fed me the occasional peanut she would have been happier. Maybe I would have been happier too…

As for fighting, well, we never got there. When there was the slightest hint of her wanting to clobber me – it was usually that way around – my god, what did I do to piss her off like that? – I would start screeching like a banshee forcing the attention of one or both parents to stop her from killing me. For surely that is what would have happened? It never occurred to them that I might have been annoyingly poking her sensitivities until she burst, that I possibly was deserving of a clobber. We never really got the chance to test the theory of what would have happened without parental intervention. It is quite possible that I would have bounced.

But just as with my nephews, we had lots of good times too. Good times which improved dramatically once we stopped sharing a room. She stood up for me. She advised me. She helped me with my hair, my clothes, my homework (she’s much smarter than me!) and she taught me how to use spices when cooking. And we laughed together. I’ve never laughed as heartily at life’s absurdities with anyone else. And Christmas morning we’d curl up in front of the TV in our duvets drinking cups of tea, eating clementines and Christmas cookies while watching the Czech Three Gifts for Cinderella from 1973 followed by Disney’s Christmas Special. And giggle at things that weren’t really funny. Except to us.

I wouldn’t want my life to be without her. And clearly, my nephews would not want to be without each other either. So my one-sided representation of them is not fair, to say the least. I grew up in a predominantly female household; even the dog was a ‘she’, and fighting with our unequal physiques was not an option. She didn’t really need to clobber me. She could just have flattened me against the wall with a rolled up newspaper and be done with the Annoying Squealing Sister (sic.). She never thought of that. But my nephews have thought of a number of ingenious ways to do just that and have come to no harm. I’m actually pretty impressed…

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Remember…

Den, som kun tar spøg for spøg og alvor kun alvorligt, han og hun har faktisk fattet begge dele dårligt.
Taking fun as simply fun and earnestness in earnest shows how thoroughly thou none of the two discernest.
Piet Hein

And never take yourself or others too seriously.

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